Crux Ansata (ansat) wrote,
Crux Ansata

  • Music:


There is a girl, a teenager, who goes to my church. Sitting in the first pew, I can see half the congregation -- half of the part who receive -- if I so choose. Every week, she receives in her hand, steps one step to the right, and, facing the altar, consumes the Host. She always wears pants, jeans generally. I wonder about that sensation.

Wearing costumes provides a fascinating, visceral perspective on the other. Make-up, clothes, hair. I understand more why women are more conscious of the physical than men are. (Weirdly, women are more skeptical of this than men.) Perhaps it is in dialogue with the gaze of the other, but even from within, there is a different view from a woman's uniform than from a man's.

At the moment, I'm exploring the sensation of how some skirts, for all their appearance of openness, actually force one to bend at the knee rather than the hip. It is peculiar, but a sensation I have heard described in the past, so I suspect it is not in my head.
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